Which is why Kim and I have taken or will be taking all of the following classes prior to little Lorelai Elizabeth's birth:
* Baby Basics -- four hours * Baby Sign (teaching your child to communicate before she can speak) -- two hours * Breastfeeding -- two hours * Childbirth/Lamaze Class -- eight hours * For Baby's Sake (babyproofing, etc.) -- two hours * Hospital Tour -- two hours * Labor Basics -- four hours * Pediatric CPR -- two hours * Safe Ride (car seats) -- two hours
Plus, Kim took a two hour early-bird class without me, and Kim's parents are taking a grandparenting class when they're visiting us in two weeks. (I'm not quite sure what one learns in the latter -- how to spoil the baby rotten, maybe?) Eight of the 11 classes listed above are free through either our hospital or one of its two sister hospitals in the area, thank goodness. Bonus points to anyone other than Kim who guesses the three that aren't.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
