Last-minute presents for my birthday, which is today by the way.

I am sure that some of you have not yet found the time to get me a present, so my present to you is a list of presents you can buy for me.

A 2006 Mazda5. (By a factor of 20, the cutest minivan ever.)

A piano from the Steinway Crown Jewel collection. (I think perhaps the Anigre.)

A modest little beach house.

A fountain. (With free ground shipping!)

I mean since they have a grandfather clock, I should have one too.

Or if you lose on that bid, just get me some art instead.

And for those you are on an incredibly tight budget, there is always something nice for the new little one.