Reviews of objects that should not be reviewed, part one.
Blueberry soy yogurt (maker unknown): C-
A small initial bite wasn't bad -- it’s sufficiently blueberryish, and it largely has the taste one would expect from yogurt -- but a second, larger bite confirms a unrefined chalkiness that overwhelms its better qualities. It’s similar to bananas, really: The taste is palatable, but it’s impossible to get over the texture.
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Swingline 545 Stapler: B-
It sucessfully meets all my stapling needs, but it does not excel at them.
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American Reproductions: C+ (pending)
Their prices are very good, but they did not deliver our free recliner with the rest of our order, and the grade will go up or down depending on free-recliner expediency. If they do not respond in the near future, they're going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's my free recliner? Why don't I have a free recliner?" And are they prepared to deal with that? I don't think so.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
