A very special "Parker and Bradley."

So special, in fact, that you have to click on this link to see it. I think you'll figure out why after you do.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 5.


Until Parker and Bradley discuss it, this is the greatest comic strip dealing with the California recall.

It's the best by a longshot, really; California recall cartoons arestupid.

Also, Opie is right.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, absent.


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Fun fact of the week.

Of the upper half of states, population-wise, only three do not have a major-league baseball, basketball, or football team: Kentucky, ranked 25th, with 4.0 million people; Alabama, ranked 23rd, with 4.5 million people; and...Virginia, ranked an amazing 11th, with 7.1 million people.

Please. MLB. Give NoVa1 the Expos.

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Fun invented fact of the week.

The average male picks 648 scabs in his lifetime; the average woman, 714.

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1 That'd be the acronym for Northern Virginia -- specifically, the D.C. suburbs in Virginia.

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Strange realization of the day.

I know how to spell "cantankerous" and "eponymous" correctly. Huh. Who would've thunk.

Anyway, I'm writing a 650-word essay about underdogs and cinema during lunch today (and did so yesterday as well), so don't expect another "Parker and Bradley" until tomorrow. I know. You are crying.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 14.


Song going through my head of the moment.

Too legit. Too legit to quit.

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Weight loss opportunity of the week.

For one-and-a-half points: According to the linear regression graph based on my weight loss over the past couple weeks, on what day will I weigh zero pounds? Closest without going over wins.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 9.


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The best oldies ever.

Over the next ten weeks -- starting probably next week -- I will be discussing the ten greatest songs that are older than 100. (Years, not weeks nor months.) I have a tentative list in place, but I am willing to take suggestions, as long as those suggestions do not include "Ode to Joy."

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 9.


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What you should eat for supper tonight.

Find your neighborhood Roly Poly, order a "Roll Your Own" sandwich, and get it with roast pork, provolone cheese, barbeque sauce, and...apple butter. Really. The apple butter/BBQ combo tastes like a very sweet barbeque sauce. It's very good. I mean it. Yum.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 4.


The very tentative outline for the beginning of my 3m20s silent short film that has the very tentative title of "S.C" and the not-at-all tentative due date of September 5th.

Brackets after the description of the shot indicate the approximate amount of time the shot is held. I'm going to have about three or four frames of black between each of these shots.

Three-foot period is sitting on a park bench next to a three-foot comma. [5s]
Three-foot period is sitting slightly closer to the three- foot comma. [1s]
Period sitting even closer to the comma. [1s]
Period sitting even closer to the comma. [1s]
Period sitting even closer to the comma. [1s]
Period essentially holding comma's hand. [3s]
Comma and period in front of a movie theater. [2s]
Comma and period in front of restaurant. [2s]
Comma and period watching ducks in a pond. [2s]
Comma and period at some romantic location. [2s]
Comma in wedding veil and period with black bow-tie in front of boring backdrop. [3s]
Comma and period in bed, half-underneath covers. [2s]
Comma and period entering hospital. [2s]
Comma in hospital bed, holding blanket. Camera zooms in on blanket, and we see a tiny semicolon. [7s]
Title card that reads "S.C."

Total time for opening: about 40 seconds

Okay. So now help me decide what happens next. If I use your idea, you will be given an associate producer credit unless it's a really great idea, in which case I will give screenplay credit.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 3.


The other thing I've been meaning to tell you for the past week.

A week ago today, the Richmond Times-Dispatch made one change to that day's Doonesbury cartoon. (The link is to the original.) For a half-point, what was it?

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 11.


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If you like Jay Leno, turn away now.

I've been meaning to tell this story for the last week, and every time I come to writing a journal entry, I forget. Bad me. So, anyway, it was Monday or Tuesday of last week, and it was a commercial break during Letterman, so I decided to flip through the five measly other channels that the non-cable Prinses have. I stopped on Leno, because he was doing "Headlines," and sometimes "Headlines" can be funny despite the man who is delivering them. So he pulls up this newspaper clipping that had the various New York Times Bestseller Lists, and under the headline "Fiction Best-Sellers," number one was Hillary Clinton's autobiography Living History. Ba dum bum.

Complete silence from the audience. Jay, confused at the lack of laughter, explains, "Um, you see, "fiction" means that a book isn't true, so..." And it is only then that there is chuckling from the gallery.

Smart people can like Letterman, and smart people -- wrongheaded smart people, mind -- can dislike Letterman. But no smart people can like Leno.

(Note: If you believe you are a smart person and you also like Leno, I am so very sorry. I am so very sorry you are not as smart as you think you are. Ba dum bum.)

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What it is that I am doing every day for the next three weeks.

I am riding my exercise bike for 30 minutes. Or I am running/walking for 30 minutes. I really do not care which. But I will do one.

If on any day during the next three weeks I do not run/walk or ride my exercise bike, I will write a 500-word essay that does not use the letter "e" explaining just how sorry I am.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 7.


Capitalist lists.

Publications I would subscribe to if I were a millionaire and could thus throw around money like paper, or at least like money from less affluent countries:
     * Paste Magazine
     * The Wall Street Journal
     * The Annals of Improbable Research
     * Books & Culture
     * Mars Hill Audio
     * Timothy McSweeney's Quarterly Concern

Discs you should purchase together from Amazon so you can get the free shipping and have them delivered together when they are each released in late August:
     * Over the Rhine, Ohio ($14.99)
     * The Work of Director Spike Jonze ($14.99)

Defunct television shows that I would pay good money to purchase on DVD:
     * "Square One"
     * "First Person"
     * "The West Wing" (which will be defunct soon enough)

According to this quiz, the five American cities I should most want to buy a house in:
     * Hoboken, N.J.
     * Teaneck, N.J.
     * Rutherford, N.J.
     * Bergenfield, N.J.
     * Nutley, N.J.

oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  these are comments, 11.


oh so lovingly written byMatthew |  this is comment, one.


short & sour.
oh dear.
messages antérieurs.
music del yo.
lethargy.
"i live to frolf."
friends.
people i know, then.
a nother list.
narcissism.













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