Tell me where the name "Parker and Bradley" comes from. (Yes, I did put three or four minutes of thought into it.)
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 8.
Since even after Opie gets me the raw footage for "Patty Gets a Haircut" -- thanks, Op -- I still need to convert it before I can edit it, the next film I'm worrying about is this sucker. I as believe I mentioned before, my idea is to shoot this silent 3m20s film in a series of about 40 to 50 short shots, each preceeded by a fade-in and followed by a fade-out. (All filming must be done indoors, thus; I'm going to buy a dimmer switch to use for the fade-ins and outs, as I have to do them on the fly.) I am also going to try to follow David Mamet's advice to tell the story in the cut rather than in the shot, as in the below:
[Fade in on a basketball.]
[Fade out.]
[Fade in on a pistol.]
[Fade out.]
[Fade in on a deflated basketball.]
[Fade out.]
Et al. There is never an action shot of the basketball being deflated by the shooting of the gun, but enough information is given that the audience can make a reasonable inference.
Anyway. The problem is that I do not know what story I would like to tell, because it is difficult to have a story trees that live indoors. Although. Hmm.
Because nothing gets my hit count up like some Christianity controversy.
Why is there no major sect of either evangelical or fundamentalist Christianity that puts major stock in this passage:
"Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head--it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head....Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering." -- I Corinthians 11:4-6, 13-15
Why does conservative American Christianity simply ignore this bit of this New Testament?
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 43.
Just ignore that film emergency. We're just going to work on something for next month's contest instead. Thanks.
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I am apparently picky when it come to sermons. I went to a United Methodist Church this past Sunday with a subsection of the James River Ringers, and for the second straight performance, they were all impressed with the minister's sermon while I was left relatively cold. I am sorry, but Mr. Preacher lost me the moment he stated this immortal truth, which doubled as his sermon's thesis: "When God closes a door, he opens...another door." At least ending the sentence with "a window" was clever once upon a time -- the 1800s, perhaps?
The number of sermons I've heard since starting high school would exceed 500. Remembering as hard as I can, I recall bits of five of them, not including those in the past month. Is this typical? Have I spent the last 12 years with, if not mediocre pastors, then mediocre sermon-deliverers? Do y’all who go to church regularly have a drastically different experience than I?
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The best way in the world to get me angry. I would guess, off-hand, that since the beginning of this year I have gotten angrier than the level of “somewhat annoyed” four or five times. (I remember four; it would not surprise me if there’s another one out there.) Two of those times have been making homemade pasta. Further, in both of those cases, it was the action of making homemade pasta that ticked me off so. It is a maddening endeavor. I need to get the knack of it, or I need to throw my homemade pasta maker away.
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What do I want to be when I grow up? I only have 39 years until I retire. Please help me decide how to spend those years, vocationally.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 14.
Film emergency! Film emergency! Film emergency!
I have found a group in Richmond that does filmmaking prompts -- the 30fps equivalent to "Write a story about your first childhood memory." Well. I will not tell you the prompt I am working from -- it is more secretive this way -- but I will tell you that I need to come up with a way to turn a 4th grade mathematics book (teacher's edition) into a film no longer than five minutes. I have one week minus 90 minutes to complete this film.
Basic ideas that one can work from in giving me ideas how to do this:
a) Word problems.
b) Multiplication tables.
c) Rounding.
d) Long division.
e) Decimals.
f) Fractions.
g) Adding/subtracting time.
The fourth-grade part is negotiable if you have some perfect idea. All people who give me an idea that makes it into the film get at least an associate producer credit.
Seven movies I would like to make (or at least start on) in the next year.
1) 3m20s silent film for this left-hand side thing.
2) Very short documentary "Patty Gets a Haircut."
3) The talked-about, then somewhat abandoned "[sic]."
4) A short (10- to 15-minute) documentary on someone's weird job.
5)"Girl and Tree." 6) 20-30 minute movie that I don't want to talk about quite yet.
7) Full-length Mike Leigh-esque film with a big musical number at the end (that includes a string quartet in the back of a pickup).
You would like to help me with these films? How kind! Here is how.
1') Give me an idea what this silent film should be about.
2') Opie, after you've seen the footage a couple of times, let me borrow it for a month so I can transfer it to MiniDV (which I can then edit in my computer).
3') Be patient while I figure out exactly how I want this to work.
4') Find me someone with a weird job.
5') Find me two actors within a 2-hour drive of Richmond who will work for the 56 cents I have in my pocket plus 13 percent of the gross.
6') I need a dolly for my camera. Buy me one.
7') Give me $4000.
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If your name is Alexander, the e-mail address I have for you at Mergetel does not work. Please give me a proper one.
"You can't just say a normal sentence, right? Just 'Hey, lets talk' is too dull for you."
Rather to respond to someone's belief in a fake Metallica lawsuit in a conventional way -- in a writing "Hey, don't believe everything you read" way -- I instead spent a half-hour at lunch creating this. I think it was worth it.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 8.
Sometimes I like to freak you all out with a point opportunity.
Two points for solving this Matthew original: Given two tennis players, each equally likely to win a point, what is the average number of points one would expect a game to last? (30-15 would be three points; a skunk would be four points; a deuce would be at least six points.)
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 8.
Items I do not feel like connecting to each other via clever transitions.
I think that this would make a fine documentary. I do not know why. I have a half-urge to contact the people involved.
I am postponing writing about Cornerstone in the hopes that Beth-Annie will beat me to the punch and then I can be lazy and not write about it at all.
Cordless electric lawnmowers are great unless you have very long grass. In that case, they do not have enough power.
I am assuming none of you have read Dave Eggers' You Shall Know Our Velocity, so pointing out an addition to the book that completely changes -- in a good way, I think -- the readers' perceptions of the original book is not very useful to you all. Ah well.
Ed: The magazine with the CD that we were thinking of at Cornerstone was Paste Magazine, I think.
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Mark Heard break.
Mark Heard fans: Buy the Mark Heard biography, Hammers and Nails.
Mark Heard non-fans: Eh. You don't really need to buy it; it would not work well as an introduction to him. Get his CD Second Hand instead.
Most interesting fact from the book: Apparently, Mark didn't go to regularly go to church for (as I recall) about the last decade of his life. While I understand his rationale in becoming a non-churchgoing Christian -- I'll quote it at length in the next few days -- I think he was quite mistaken.
Stupidest error in the book: "Satellite Sky" (the song, not the album) is again and again called "Why, Mama, Why?" That is very bothersome.
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It looks like we will be moving from our current suburban Richmond county of 270,000 to another suburban Richmond county of 270,000 in the next year or so. But don't hold us to that until we buy a house.
Hi. If your name is Andrew or Alex, please send me your address and your DVD/VHS preference for "Eileen." Thank you. If you are my parents or my brother-in-law, the DVD is on the way. For those who are neither, there are about 10 copies left that can be purchased on DVD for $9 each, shipping inclusive.
A new t-shirt. I only found two I liked at Cornerstone, and I feel that is not enough. So I am going to design some sort of new t-shirt and get some printed up (or available to be printed on-demand through CafePress).
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
