"You stupid Galatians! I told you exactly how Jesus Christ was nailed to a cross. Has someone now put an evil spell on you? I want to know only one thing. How were you given God's Spirit? Was it by obeying the Law of Moses or by hearing about Christ and having faith in him? How can you be so stupid?" (CEV)
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 3.
Anti-lethargy list.
The new one. Is ready. Although. I may add. Two more items. I will. Elaborate if you are. Confused about. Certain items.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 7.
Bible verse of the day.
Deuteronomy 19:5a
"For example, suppose you and a friend go into the forest to cut wood. You are chopping down a tree with an ax, when the ax head slips off the handle, hits your friend, and kills him." (CEV)
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 4.
Dopey McWilliams' greatest fan.
It's her. (Go down to "I took AP English," right underneath "posted by Janet 1:19 PM.")
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
this is comment, one.
Bible verse of the day.
We all need help in our spiritual journey, and I am not sure that How Perfectly Swell has been doing its part. I am going to change that. Starting today, and going until I get bored of it, I will be giving you a Bible verse to meditate on, to pray on, to delve into, to use as an intellectual springboard -- all in an attempt to see more clearly the face of God. I think we will all find this an enlightening endeavor.
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Genesis 36:24
"The sons of Zibeon: Aiah and Anah. This is the Anah who discovered the hot springs in the desert while he was grazing the donkeys of his father Zibeon."
From this article: "Iowa State men's basketball coach Larry Eustachy told the school's president and athletic director he used 'poor judgment' when he attended an after-hours party [at a student apartment] near the University of Missouri following a loss to the Tigers this season....The 12 photographs show [the 47-year-old] Eustachy with a beer in his hand, and in several photos, embracing and kissing women on the cheek or being kissed on the cheek....Eustachy...is married and has two children....
"It reportedly was not Eustachy's first campus party after a road game, according to students in another Big 12 Conference town. In January 2002, the coach was at an early-morning fraternity party in Manhattan, Kan., hours after his team lost a game to Kansas State, students told the Register. On that occasion, a fraternity member said he wound up in an argument with Eustachy because he found the coach's arm around his 19-year-old sister. The woman told the newspaper that Eustachy walked into the house and complimented her on her appearance, saying that she should be attending the University of Kansas, where the girls are 'much hotter.'"
I do not know which is worse: That Eustachy is cheating on his wife (in spirit, if apparently not [quite] in flesh), or that he is a 47-year-old man attending frat parties. Please, if I am trying to be this cool when I am 47, oh dear help me.
From one of the participants: "I'd rather be known for [being in The Real Cancun] instead of being smart or something. There's a million people who are smart. There's only 16 of us who were in Cancun together."
It is immoral and improper to critically review a church service. So of course I will do so. I am using the ol' Ship of Fools system:
Mystery Worshipper: Thelma Dawn Esprit.
The church: Just to make it a bit harder to Google this review, we'll call it FEELC; the full name is a couple entries below.
Denomination: Lutheran, ELCA.
The building: Very attractive in a olde gothic style. (Please realize that I have very little idea what "gothic" means, but that's the word that comes to mind when I see the church.) The church: Mostly early Gen-X/late Baby Boomers with their adolescent children. A few elderly parishioners. No one Kim's and my age that I can recall. Almost all men in suit coats.
The neighborhood: Along the path of my Monument Avenue 10K in the historical, upper-middle class Fan District in Richmond. Specifically, across the street from the J.E.B. Stuart Monument (and, in fact, the church can be seen in the background here).
The cast: The service was led by Rev. Dr. J. Schweitzer, with L. Ellis on piano and directing the choir.
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What was the name of the service? 10:30 a.m. Communion Service.
How full was the building? There were a bit over 100 in the congregation, including 10 in the choir. The church could probably hold 400, so the service felt rather empty.
Did anyone welcome you personally? Kim and I received a "hi" from the gentleman who gave us our program.
Was your pew comfortable? It was wooden with no padding, but it was relatively comfortable. Kneeling was a problem, however; the pews leaned back about probably a 10-degree angle, and the kneelers were so close to the pews directly in front that I myself had to lean back at about a 10-degree angle during the requisite minute of kneeling.
How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere? The pastor and music director both made general church announcements; the congregation seemed relatively attentive.
What were the exact opening words of the service? "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, amen."
What books did the congregation use during the service? A general Lutheran hymnal, bundled with an expansion pack of hymns.
What musical instruments were played? Piano, exclusively. (The organ is being repaired.)
Did anything distract you? The aforementioned kneelers; trying to figure out exactly how the communion-on-the-communion-rail was taking place (did the 10 people on the rail all eat the bread together? what was I supposed to do with my communion cup?).
Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what? A nice balance, actually; the service was serious without being solumn.
Exactly how long was the sermon? 13 minutes.
On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher? 6. The sermon was certainly acceptable, although I didn't particularly agree with his point of view; even if I did, I think there were more interesting ideas he could have spoken about on the same subject. He struck a good balance on theatricalness, never hitting Nathan Lane nor Ben Stein.
In a nutshell, what was the sermon about? He argued that Thomas really wasn't so bad after all for doubting Jesus, which is an interesting premise; the trouble is, (a) he never made explicit the parallels between Thomas' doubting and our own (he presented it like a case study sans conclusions), and worse, (b) he argued that since Thomas didn't actually need to put his hand in Jesus' side and put his fingers through Jesus' hands, Thomas wasn't a complete doubter and thus is somewhat unfairly maligned by the cliché that bears his name.
Which part of the service was like being in heaven? The church itself, which was majestic without being gaudy.
And which part was like being in... er... the other place? The kneelers and the crying children (one of who was baptized that Sunday).
What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost? Right after the postlude started, a woman sitting in the row in front of us asked if we were visitors, where we were from, were we Lutheran, would we like to attend the after-service coffee, etcetera. Friendly enough, but I am not fond of those conversations myself.
How would you describe the after-service coffee? Kim and I skipped it.
How would you feel about making this your regular church (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)? 7; there were no major problems, and I have the feeling that I'd like other sermons by the same pastor more.
Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian? Yes.
What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time? Starting next week, they will be integrating harpsichord music into their services, which is très awesome.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 8.
This is your last chance.
I need to have ten or more items for new anti-lethargy list done by Wednesday (and record an okay five-of-ten for the first attempt), and right now I am at six: The same handbell contest (since there's still a month left), some film festival deadline for "[sic]," another 10K race, another 10 kilograms, some short story contest, and the Henrico Theatre Company One-Act Playwriting Competition. Thus, I need some other ideas, and I would prefer ideas better than "mow the lawn more often" or "become less balding." And I do have a couple thoughts, but you are all such stunning intellectuals that you can come up with better ones. So do.
Kim and I have talked about it, and given our theological differences, we've decided that it's best if we get a quick civil divorce (and Catholic annulment) and marry other people as soon as possible. I've already started making arrangements.
---
Ahem. Anyway, despite the phrase "It doesn’t get any better than this!!!!!" on their webpage, I (and Kim, if she wakes up early enough) will be attending the 8:15A service at First English Evangelical Lutheran Church, partially because it's the closest ELCA church that I can verify has a weekly communion service, partially because it has a bell choir, partially because the outside of the church has a classical beauty (as opposed to the UFO Ed and Beth-Annie worship in), partially because I know somewhat more about this denomination than the other options, and partially because I had to pick something.
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Also, I am very hurt Ed did not tell me he had a new website.
I was on my way to CompUSA to pick up some computer supplies for work, and on the radio came Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild Side". Upon the first "hey babe," my brain said to itself, "Self, there is some memory that is very distinctly related to this song." And then my brain said to itself, "But self, what is that memory?" And then my brain said to itself, "Oh yeah, like I'm going to tell you that." Ugh.
Points are up to date, including all of the what-I-like contest and Ed's two recent points. Points-hating Andrew gets a quarter-point: A barefaced incentive to convince him to gather more.
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Dear Kalista, Von, and Pablo:
You have not been visiting my site lately, or if you have, you have been doing it surreptitiously. As I now am compelled to add a link to Andrew's page along my right-hand side, I am going to ditch y'alls links unless you either comment or write me an e-mail expressing that you would like them to stay, because that link section is for How Perfectly Swell participants only. (Also, Kalista's and Pablo's weblogs are never updated any more, so.)
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 5.
Math problem of the week.
I've been thinking about this for a while, and I do believe I finally came up with a solution. A point to whoever comes up with one next.
The challenge: Come up with an algorithm to divide a square into n smaller squares (not necessarily of the same size) for all n > 5. (4 is simple; 2, 3 and 5 are impossible.)
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 7.
Well. So we have made some progress.
Through the painful and difficult process of elimination, we have reduced the number of potential denominations for me to try out on Sunday to twelve. I will now list them, in approximate order from most conservative to most liberal1:
Quite conservative: Free Will Baptist
Advent Christian
Presbyterian, PCA
Conservative to moderate: Evangelical Free
Evangelical Presbyterian
Moderate to liberal: Lutheran, ELCA
United Methodist
Quite liberal: Anglican
Episcopal
Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)
American Baptist
Presbyterian, USA2
Given my dogmatic leanings, we will start with the four in the middle.
United Methodist: Makes no difference what they believe or how close their churches are, as they only have communion on the first Sunday of the month and on Holy Days.
Lutheran, ELCA3: Seven in the Richmond area, including one about two miles from our house and a couplemore within 15 or 20 minutes. Potentially iffy on communion on this particular Sunday, although the "couple" church does have weekly communion at the (ugh) 8:15A service. Ed and Beth-Annie's current denomination, so I can commiserate. The most theologically and socially liberal of the three remaining, for better or worse.
Evangelical Presbyterian: Didn't realize there was a middle ground between USA and PCA until doing this little survey, so it obviously isn't a large denomination. One church in the Richmond area, about a 20-minute drive away (although, if I would attend on a regularish basis, it would almost certainly be closer to any potential new house). "We sing a variety of songs, most of which come from current Christian praise and worship sources as well as contemporary arrangements of traditional hymns," which I'm not thrilled about (although I could certainly handle it for one Sunday). Children's ministry director's favorite TV show is "The West Wing," which is a plus.
E-Free: Kind of a strange denomination, in practice: As Ed wrote yesterday, they're relatively non-dogmatic, which means they should line up more closely with other, liberal non-dogmatic bodies like United Church of Christ and CC(DoC). However, not only are they in the NAE rather than the NCC, but I am aware of some E-Free churches that teach the Jack Chick gospel of anti-Catholicism. So I dunno. Depends on the specific church4, I suppose, and the specific church in this case (again, about a twenty-minute drive) is Christ Community Church, which has "[p]ractical 'no-nap' messages from the Bible," and claims, "You will find our upbeat blend of Hymns and Contemporary Choruses a refreshing way to start your week off right!" "I should not judge churches based on their websites," he tells himself.
Anyway, pick one for me so I don't have to.
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1 This categorization is based on (a) the beliefs of that denomination that I could find (if any); (b) perceptions of the liberalness or conservativity of the denominations by people moreknowledgable than I; (c) the denomination's membership in either the National Council of Churches (more liberal) or National Association of Evangelicals (more conservative); and (d) my whimsy.
2 Yesterday, I surmised that the Presbyterian, USA was more conservative than CC(DoC). I now take back that supposition.
3 Which is redundant, I know.
4 Speaking of specific churches, I am going to assume that the Ames E-Free5 is relatively prominent is because the denomination half-started ten miles away in Boone. Ah ha.
5 Speaking of the Ames E-Free, a quick perusal of the website turned up that one of my high-school chums, Jen Lathrop, either is or recently was in North Africa doing missions work (see April 14th). Très bon, Jenny; très, très bon. But no thanks on involuntarily making me feel guilty for doing so little for The Church At Large.
I actually meant to do this last year's campaign, but now that it's up and running again, I am deathly curious how local grocery store chain Ukrops argues the legality of their annual Brand Bonanza contest. You can read the twoFAQs for more information, but here, in short, is how the contest works: Every time you buy a Ukrop’s-brand product with your Ukrop’s card, you receive one entry into the contest. (There is a "No Purchase Necessary" clause: You can submit an entry by mailing them a 3” x 5” card with your handwritten name, address, Ukrop’s Card number and telephone number.)Each week, five entries are chosen at random, and the entries are ordered by the number of Ukrop’s-brand items purchased over a certain period of time. The "Ukrop’s Brand Gang" first visits the house of the customer who (of the five entries) purchased the greatest number of Ukrop’s brand items. The "Brand Gang" counts the number of Ukrop’s brand items the customer has on-hand, multiplies that number by $200, and gives the customer that amount of money. If the amount of money they gave out was less than $3000, the "Brand Gang" goes on to the house of the customer who (of the five entries) purchased the second-greatest number of Ukrop’s brand items, continuing on until (a) they've visited all five customers or (b) they've given out at least $3000.
Now. For one point each, list and explain a potential legal problem in their campaign. (I've thought of at least three.)
A change of habit: Used to go bar-hopping. You started church-shopping, did ya?
I would like to attend a church this coming weekend that is not Catholic, because sometimes I like attending churches where I can take communion. I am crazy like that. However, I do not know what denomination of church I should attend, as I have no strong allegiance to the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) denomination that I grew up in (despite fondness for both of the churches I attended in my childhood); besides, I've attended all the CC(DoC) churches within a twenty-minute drive at least once (except one in Ashland that, interestingly, moM and daD have been to but not me) and have not been particularly enamoured.
So you will help me pick one of the denominations out of the Greater Richmond Yellow Pages. I have few requirements:
1) Must be Christian.
2) Must have open communion (since that is my major purpose in attending).
3) Must not be small-P pentecostal (which includes big-P Pentecostal and others).
4) Must not be more liberal than the average CC(DIC) church.
5) Must not be more conservative than the average Southern Baptist church.
6) Must not be excessively wack.
More requirements to follow, I am sure, but there's a start. I will start crossing off denominations as I see fit.
Advent Christian African Methodist Episcopal African Methodist Episcopal Zion American Catholic Anglican Apostolic Armenian Assemblies of God Baha'i Faith American Baptist Free Will Baptist Independent Baptist Independent Fundamental Baptist
Missionary Baptist
Reformed Baptist
Southern Baptist Bible Church Church of the Brethren Buddhist Roman Catholic Charismatic Christadelphian Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)(20 churches in the Richmond area, apparently) Christian Methodist Christian and Missionary Alliance Christian Science Church of Christ Church of God Church of God in Christ Church of God in Prophecy Church of Jesus Christ Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints(only one in Richmond) Church of Our Lord Jesus Christ Congregational Christian Eastern Orthodox Eckankar
Episcopal Evangelical Free(only two churches in Richmond, which is a surprise; the Ames E-Free was one of the bigger churches back home, I thought) Evangelical Presbyterian Foursquare Gospel Friends Full Gospel Grace Brethren Greek Orthodox(I wonder if their attendance went up post-Greek Wedding) Hindu Holiness Independent Fundamental Islamic Jehovah's Witnesses(18 churches, and my door hasn't been knocked on once) Lutheran, ELCA Lutheran, Missouri Synod Lutheran, Wisconsin Synod Mennonite Independent Methodist United Methodist(gobs of them; probably second behind Southern Baptist in numbers) Nazarene New Testament Pentecostal Pentecostal Holiness Presbyterian, PCA Presbyterian, USA Quaker Religious Science Seventh-Day Adventists United Pentecostal Unity Vineyard Fellowship Wesleyan Word Word of Faith
I give you permission to start making fun of me if I do not meet this goal.
I am going to write at least a large portion of the "[sic]" screenplay this week, because I have ideas and I want to put it off no more. Unlike the secretivity of "Eileen," I am going to write this screenplay in the open, and you will all make comments, and it will all be good.
Please recall the opening segment:
[Camera in on man running. Camera moves with the man.] This is Michael. Today, Michael is reasonably happy with his life. Tomorrow, however, Michael will turn 30, and tomorrow Michael will weep. Tomorrow, Michael will look back at the previous thirty years and see a washed-out trail of a life, a life that has impacted no one, confronted no one, interested no one. Tomorrow, Michael will look at who he is today and see that he has violated every moral boundary he has ever set for himself. Tomorrow, Michael will look ahead at the next forty years and see himself marking time in a parade of billions, wasting time until he expires on the same day as 200,000 anonymous souls. Tomorrow, Michael will look at his life after death for God and instead see black upon black upon black. That is tomorrow. And then there is the day after tomorrow, where Michael’s life will change forever in an inexplicable and unbelievable way.
[Cut to black.] This film is not his story.
Okay then.
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Realization of the week:
The actor who played the leader of the New Main Street Singers (not Paul Dooley; the younger guy) was the also lovely "I'm not comfortable with that" lawyer on Ally McBeal.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 7.
Odd e-mail of the week.
From: "Alexander Bibit" (saderff@2-mail.com)
To: mdprins@yahoo.com
Date: Fri, 16 Apr 2004 07:11:30 -0700 [yes, that is the real date] Subject: _ floydclean _
I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but I saw the cover of this coming Sunday's bulletin at my church, and it said, "He is risen!" There are a few different interpretations for that statement, I suppose, especially since there's only an implied antecedent for "he." And I don't want to impetuously get anyone's hopes up who was hoping that Jesus would rise from the dead in the next few days. Still, that short sentence does radiate some vague optimism, so I thought some of you might be interested.
I was sneezing this morning, so my medical doctor boss gave me some over-the-counter pharmaceuticals. Now I am not sneezing, but for the past four hours I have desparately wanted to take a nap. I thought this information would be interesting to you.
In keeping with my tendency toward self-importance:
This week's contest tests your knowledge of my preferences in various categories. It will be shocking how many of these Kim will not know (although I'm eliminating obvious categories -- Favorite Sports Beverage -- to keep Kim from sweeping the board).
Just for simplicity in grading, I'm going to split this into thirds. (Fine: 35%/35%/30%.)
1) Favorite of Billboard's top 100 songs from 1983.
2) Favorite month. 3) Favorite name for a parish in the Diocese of Richmond. 4) Favorite severe weather watch or warning. 5) Favorite store at the Potomac Mills mall.
6) Favorite genre of houses. 7) Favorite of the 50 highest grossing movies of all time (of those I've seen).
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 15.
8) Favorite national flag.
9) Favorite Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor. 10) Favorite Beatles song.
11) Favorite pre-Punch-Drunk LoveAdam Sandler movie (of those I've seen).
12) Favorite of the politicians attempting to get the 1996 Republican nomination for President.
13) Favorite television show aimed at viewers under the age of 5.
14) Favorite newspaper.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 23.
15) Least-favorite Woody Allen movie (of those I've seen).
16) Least-favorite characteristic of bananas.
17) Least-favorite fruit juice. 18) Least-favorite television show currently on the air of which I have seen substantial parts of at least two episodes.
19) Least-favorite category of writing utensils (e.g. crayons).
20) Least-favorite whole number between 1 and 9, inclusive.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 24.
Below is the first draft of opening dialogue for my next movie, titled (per Ed's idea, kinda) simply "[sic]." Before I give you this opening dialogue, which I wrote during my waterlogged lunch, please be assured that while parts of my plays and films can correctly be construed as vaguely autobiographical, the following should not be. The idea behind it obviously came because it was my birthday today; however, it...oh, y'all are smart, and y'all know I'm not as depressed as the following, but I just wanted to make sure you know for, uh, sure.
To understand the headline to this post, make sure you read what is after the indented text.
[Camera in on man running. Camera moves with the man.] This is Michael. Today, Michael is reasonably happy with his life. Tomorrow, however, Michael will turn 30, and tomorrow Michael will weep. Tomorrow, Michael will look back at the previous thirty years and see a washed-out trail of a life, a life that has impacted no one, confronted no one, interested no one. Tomorrow, Michael will look at who he is today and see that he has violated every moral boundary he has ever set for himself. Tomorrow, Michael will look ahead at the next forty years and see himself marking time in a parade of billions, wasting time until he expires on the same day as 200,000 anonymous souls. Tomorrow, Michael will look at his life after death for God and instead see black upon black upon black. That is tomorrow. And then there is the day after tomorrow, where Michael’s life will change forever in an inexplicable and unbelievable way.
[Cut to black.] This film is not his story.
Okay. That is kind of funny, no? But it needs to be funnier and coolier [sic], which requires the following: What I need is someone to volunteer to (a) translate that into a different language (first choice: French; second choice: someone obscure and cool; third choice: Kim's Spanish) and then (b) read it for me in that language on tape or as an MP3 or whatever. I'll do at least one more draft of this, but I'd like to get my foreign language volunteer set in stone now.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 11.
The State of the Me Address.
It is my birthday. Today I am allowed to be narcissistic and look at where I am today.
Name: Matthew Prins.
Age: 26 years and zero days.
Marital Status: Oh so happy.
Employment Status: Working in a job that I am neither happy nor unhappy with; I do not trudge to work, but neither do I jump with joy.
Progress Made Toward Ideal Career: I do not know my career goals. Part of the idea behind the anti-lethargy list was to force me to try a few different, um, things, I guess, that I was interested in but never got off my duff to do. I have half-a-mind to try to, in a another year or two, apply to the MFA Creative Writing program at Virginia Commonwealth University -- which has the 6th-ranked Graduate School of Arts program in USN&WR and (so I've heard) a high-quality set of playwriting courses. However, (a) don't ask me what I'd do with an MFA, besides write plays, and (b) I change my mind on what I want to do with my life each and every 19 days. So whatever.
Progress Made Toward Ideal Weight: Last year at this time, I was obese. Now I am merely overweight. I suppose that is an improvement.
Progress Made Toward Ideal Religion: Oh God. Please help me.
Progress Made Toward Ideal House: We have found the perfect new-home subdivision, even though we know nothing about it other than the price range (which is in ours). It will be in the big open space to the southwest of this red dot; just to the east of the red dot, of course, is this, whenever they get it up and running again.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 10.
Since there aren't that many cities in Liechtenstein, you're bound to get it eventually. Does that qualify as a clue?
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 24.
Why cleaning out e-mail is a good idea.
Due to my slight depression from, well, you know, and due to the fact that I was already feeling pretty crappy today (as Kim can attest to), I spent my lunch cleaning out my Yahoo! mailbox, which was up to 96 percent a-gain. Usually I just clean out the big files with attachments, but today, I started at the oldest e-mail of the 659 in my Inbox, which was the following:
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Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 12:28:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Matthew Prins" Subject: ME
To: mdprins@yahoo.com
Sudbury. Chapman. Victoria.* Rivendell. ---
So that was cryptic. Turns out, after Googling those four names, that those were bed and breakfasts that Kim and I were considering for our 2001 New England vacation. Freaky.
Anyway, anyway, a few e-mails after that, I had one from Ed, who was responding to this early How Perfectly Swell post looking for a character for a short story:
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Pick and choose...
Gordon, a twenty-something with an affection for grilled cheese sandwiches and an enormous collection of Debbie Gibson paraphernalia
James, who believes he is the true "king of the wild frontier"
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England (1599-1658)
Zelda, a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches (stolen from Weird Al's "Albuquerque")
Stephanie, who never uses the same letter twice in a sentence
Erin, a young single mother just trying to make ends meet in this cruel world
Julia, the hooker with a heart of gold
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, star of such movies as State and Main and Magnolia
Albert Fall, the U.S. Secretary of the Interior under Warren G. Harding indicted in the Teapot Dome scandal
George, who spends most of his time watching old episodes of "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "The A-Team"
Sister Ann, a former-prostitute-turned-nun who enlists her old friends from the underworld and a Belgian kickboxer to help her in an attempt to kill space dinosaurs attacking the earth. For more info on Sister Ann, watch Future War, available for rent at your local video store (it's actually at our local Family Video) or on MST3K. As Crow said, "You know, it's not in the future, and there's no war."
Steve, a former superhero who has retired from fighting crime but retains many of his superpowers, albeit in a diminished capacity
I'll see if I can come up with any more. ---
But he never did. Still, that's awesome, dude, and it is becoming clear to me that the final film in my "Women With Unusual Names" trilogy needs to be completely off-the-wall and strange and wack and you get the picture. And Ed's list of characters is going to be a starting point. Point two will be a lists of characters that you provide nowish, a list which I will try to supplement. I obviously will not use them all, but the more I have, the more wack -- that is my word of the month, by the way -- the tentatively titled "Its Chloe" (grammatical mistake intentional) will be, and that will be a good thing. I am hoping it will be a good thing.
I have been notified that the Vinegar Hill Film Festival has decided not to screen "12 Stories About Eileen." This is not a good harbinger for "Eileen," despite a very nice rejection letter that includes the phrases "there was much praise for the writing," "the story itself was extremely well-constructed," "each character's revelation contained wonderful details," "the interpretive connecting sequences...were beautifully shot," and "the editing itself was...carefully done," whatever that last bit means. It's difficult to judge the, well, difficulty in being accepted into specific film festivals without knowing the number of submitted films, but of the five festivals I will have sent "Eileen" to by the end of this week, I had in mind VHFF as either the most likely or second-most likely to accept it. So I don't know. I need to get a-goin' on my next, better film, I suppose.
1) Last night, I may have made the final rendering of the film, which includes about 15 small changes from the screener copies I sent to festivals and Ed and Beth-Annie and moM and daD. If all goes well, I will send it off tomorrow to get the master DVD made.
2) Thus, while I still have the MiniDV tape in hand, I need to decide which festivals to send a screener to this month. My thoughts for now: I'm going to skip Philadelphia, because of (a) the fee, (b) the distance, and (c) having a bell choir concert one of the two nights of the festival. I'll do ArtsFest, because it's not too far and Kim and I could make a Memorial Day Pennsylvania weekend out of it, potentially. And I'll probably do Ragamuffin, even though it's in Austin, Texas; while I probably wouldn't attend, it's cheap, it's religious, and it has $2000 in prize money.
If anyone has festivals near them they would like me to enter, I'm certainly all ears, except for the parts of my body that aren't ears.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, absent.
Boring new contest.
It is the same game as the previous -- since a few people seemed to enjoy it -- but the mystery object is no longer in the U.S. of A. And...go!
Despite 9-1 odds, Democracy outruns favorite EnlightenedDespotism by two lengths for the win!
We have a complainer. There is a man, whom for now I will call Steve-but-not-Opie-Steve, who has taken offense at my characterization of New Jersey as 100 percent urban and 0 percent rural. We have spent shocking amount of energy in argument on this point, only the end of which can be seen here. (He is SDG. I am, well, duh.)
Steve-but-not-Opie-Steve has thrice asked me to take down my New-Jersey-is-all-urban statement. I do not wish to. Because dueling is apparently against the law, I, being a man of the people, have decided to put it to a vote here. Everyone who votes to keep it will get a shiny new point. Everyone who votes to remove it will get a glare.
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Contest: Today. 5:00P Eastern. Points are updated. moM received two additional points for being closest on guessing my 10K time (1:26:17 was her supposition, which was 0:01:33 off), and I got a point-and-a-half because no one else joined my NCAA pool, thus making me the winner.
Despite my film getting into Cannes, I still have time for the little people.
Today's clue: I am looking for a direction for the desk drawer, such as, "top middle." Please, someone guess this so we can have a new contest tomorrow.
Now that it is April. There is only two-and-a-half weeks before the race I am running next. It will be the Henrico 5K Run on April 19th, partially because it is only $6, partially because it is soon (but not too soon), and partially because the race's midpoint is less than two blocks from my work.
Now that it is April. There is only one month before I need to finish all that is left on my anti-lethargy list. Yeah right.
Now that it is April. There are only six days before you all must give me birthday presents. I will give ideas, upon request.
Now that it is April. There is, um, are, um, never mind. I couldn't think of a fourth.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, 12.
Oh. Wow.
This is all happening so fast, in such a surreal manner, that I can scarcely believe it. When I sent off copies of "12 Stories About Eileen" to festivals about a month ago, I sent it off to four: Vinegar Hill, Flickerings, ScanLine (not a festival, but never mind), and, just for the heck of it and because there wasn't an application fee and because (strangely) they didn't require a French-subtitled version, Cannes. When I came in this morning, there was a message from my work's answering service from 6:15A to call a Maria Sjoberg at some number that had too many digits to be American. I ignored it. At about 10:00 this morning, Maria called me back. Apparently, she is in charge of the Un Certain Regard section of Cannes (the least prestigious of the sections, after In Competition and Out of Competition), and she was calling to let me know that "12 Stories About Eileen," while not accepted into In Competition or Out of Competition (shorts rarely are, she said) had been accepted into one of the three programs of shorts to be screened in Un Certain Regard!
Apparently, as the screenings is set up now, my film will be shown at Cannes twice: At 4:25P on May 17th and at 9:00P on May 19th. (Actually, since my film is second in the program, after something called “Flay, Polaroids,” it will be shown about 20 minutes after those times.) As they do for all accepted directors, Cannes will be paying my and Kim's plane ticket to, well, Cannes, and will be putting us up in a (I would hope) decent hotel, along with paying me 350 Euros for use of the film. It's just so...I don't know. Amazing. I need to start planning, and I need to get a French-subtitled version of the film ready, stat. There should be some more information over here as well, if you're interested.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
