Last night, I had the most vivid dream that I have had in many-a-month. It was night. I was driving with Kim in my Accord down by Willow Lawn Mall in Richmond, and all of a sudden the car went kuh-thump. Kuh-thump. And then it started kuh-thumping more and more until I thought that it would be a good idea to stop the car. It had four flat tires.2 Kim told me to get the spares out of the trunk. I open the trunk, and there are three spare tires in it, not including what is in the spare-tire cubby underneath the regular trunk space. I take out the three tires, and I look in the little cubby for the fourth, and the cubby is empty. There is no fourth spare tire. I tell this to Kimberly, and she says, "F**k."2 Questioningly, I say, "F**k?" She says, "F**k, f**k, f**k."3. Then I decide that it is better for the car to drive on four flat tires than to replace one of them, so I leave all three spares on the ground and drive on completely empty, four-lane Broad Street to the nearest Merchant's Tire and Auto4. The lights are on, there are people inside, and so I go up to the counter and say, "I would like to replace all four of my tires please." The man at the counter says, "I'm sorry, but the store is closed. We're just hanging out here for the fun of it." Kim says, well, um, anyway, Kim gets angry, and then I say, "But why would you be hanging out here? That doesn't make sense." And that's the end of the dream.
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I am obnoxious. I was at Catholic inquiry5 last night, and here is a segment of the discussion:
Me: [I am responding to a comment about Christian leadership.] The problem with saying, "Oh, here's a good, smart Christian leader, so he knows a lot about God," is that there are many religious leaders --good, smart, God-loving religious leaders -- and for even the Christian ones, their views on Biblical issues are all over the place: On communion, on baptism...
Leader: Oh, I don't know how true that is. I see Billy Graham on television, for example, and I don't know that there's anything that he says that I disagree with.
Me: Well, yeah, okay, because he's talking to a broad Christian audience, but don't you think that in his personal beliefs that there are some big differences between him and you?
Leader: Not really, no.
Me: You think Billy Graham is a transubstantiationist?
Leader: Well, I'm, I would say that there's not that much difference between he and I on the Eucharist, no.
Me:[somewhat excitedly] Not to be antagonistic6, but then why don't you let me and him take communion?
[Uncomfortable pause.]
Leader: Do you want to take communion?
Me: No, but that isn't the point...
Anyway, I very clearly lied when I said that I did not want to be antagonistic, because I obviously did, and I do sometimes want to antagonize when it comes to Catholicism, because I don't think I'll even approaching thinking about perhaps considering starting the conversion process maybe without some getting in people's faces and people getting into mine. Because this is what the whole thing boils down to: I have not seen a compelling case for me to convert. And frankly, I don't think I'll ever see a compelling reason to switch teams until Catholics trying to convince me become a little antagonistic themselves, dissin' the non-Catholic church as "weak" and "choose-your-own-religion" and such. As Kim says, I have it all right now: I get the perks of being Catholic (other than communion) without that pesky conversion bit.
That said, today I've had the strongest urge to go to a Protestant service that I've had since being married. Being obnoxious in a vaguely anti-Catholic way has, oh, I don't know what it's done. Something.
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Very Interesting House Hunting Update, Installment Four. We bought a house7. Have a nice day!
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1 I should point out that the Accord had its second flat tire last week, which no doubt explains the existence of this part of the dream.
2 For those who do not know Kimberly well: This word is three times more harsh than any word she has ever spoken, at least in my presence.
3 You are seeing now why I remember this dream.
4 The same one I went to for my second flat tire (as discussed in footnote 1).
5 Inquiry is where one learns about Catholicism without that pesky part of them explicitly trying to convert one8.
6 Obviously, this conversation is somewhat paraphrased, but that clause is verbatim.
7 It was 30 months ago, but still.
8 I hate not using second-person when it is not appropriate.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
