Hate to interrupt this profundity with a simple capitalistic message, but... I am putting in an order of Prinsiana merchandise and such tomorrow at about 5:00 Eastern. Those who see me in person occasionally and those who see the Wisconsin Prinses in person occasionally are invited to participate in this order to save on shipping. If you have design requests to make -- hi, Beth! -- please make them by the time I get into work tomorrow morning so I can design on my lunch break.
I hate democracy. By a two-to-one margin, my officemates decided to begin taking an hour for lunch instead of the much superior half-hour lunch. Now I will be getting to work 15 minutes earlier, leaving 15 minutes later, and playing a round of disk golf every nice day from 11:30 to 12:30. I suppose that's not so bad.
I hate movies. Okay, fine, not really, but didn't feel up to the whole movie marathon thing this weekend, so I've only seen three films in the two days since Kim's departure.
I hate search engines. Now that be just an out-and-out lie, but it does act as an astute transition to an interesting list: words people have searched on at various search engines to get to my web site. The number in parentheses is the number of people who have searched for that word/words.
haiku (13)
haikus (6)
contests (5)
haiku español (2) [I hope these were the same person]
Prinsiana (2)
Prinsiana haiku (2)
haiku contest 2002 (1)
haiku contest (1)
contest side (1) [um, huh?]
Matthew Prins (1)
haikus how to write (1)
"Best haiku" (1)
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, absent.
I am in cinema heaven. As those astute spectators of my 2001 films seen list have no doubt noticed, there are certain times during the year where I watch, say, 15 films in four days. This weekend will be one of those times.
Now, I certainly won't be able to fit in 15 films this time 'round -- 10 is more likely, if still a bit iffy -- but it does mean that I can probably accomplish one of the following:
a) Finish up my 1987 top ten list (by watching about 10 acclaimed 1987 films).
b) Finish up my 1996 and 1998 top ten lists (by watching about five acclaimed films from each of those years).
c) Watch a bunch of cool-sounding movies I've been meaning to see (by watching about 10 cool-sounding movies I've been meaning to see).
d) Watch Beverly Hills Ninja 10 times.
Options (a) and (b) are not guarantees, certainly. The unwatched pickings for 1996 and 1998 look particularly slim (other than The Rescue of Ryan, a Private and the Beth-and-Josh-loathed The British Medical Care Recipient), and I'm still five films away from a top ten in 1987. Nevertheless, if my faithless readers have a top ten list preference, or if they'd instead prefer to see me watch movies I'm likely to like, here's their chance.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, absent.
I am in bookworm heaven. In an attempt to stay far, far away from the (temporary) evilness of television, I find myself in a "library." Did you know that you can rent books at these "libraries" and they don't charge you a penny for the privilege? Why didn't someone tell me this before?
Of course, as I am not one of the literati, I am not renting these books. I'm typing on a computer screen next to Kim, who is looking up CPI Detailed Report in an electronic "card catalog." Did you know that this "library" isn't sorted by subjects (like "comedy," "drama," "special interest," and "erotic thriller")? It is sorted by the number of pages in each book (including fractions). That seems stupid to me. When I start my library, I am going to charge for it, and it will have the best "erotic thriller" section of any library in Virginia.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, absent.
Watch out, Yahoo! Prinsiana had a fantastic 16 unique visitors yesterday, beating our old record of 15 from a week ago Tuesday. What is it with Tuesdays? Are you expecting a visit from Morrie?
Watch out, television! Today is day one of The Month (And A Couple Weeks) With Very Little Television. Kim believes that Madden 2000 should count against my television hours. Perhaps I will throw some Olympic figure skating footage her way if she allows me some Nintendo. [Editor's note: This goes strictly against the idea of giving up something for Lent; remember that Matthew Prins does not speak for all of Prinsiana.] [Matthew's note: Oh yes he does, newly fired editor dude.]
Watch out, those waiting for the next quarter-chapter in my novel! My novel is on hiatus until further notice. Instead, I am starting a book of short stories and flash fiction tentatively titled, The Best Liechtensteinian Short Stories 2002. If I write one 2000-word short story a week (or half a 4000-word story, or five 400-word stories), I could have this sucker ready for (non-)publication by the beginning of 2003. Won't happen, of course.
Two ideas for an introduction:
1) Synopsis: "In a search for the best Liechtensteinian short stories of 2002, I read copies of every major and minor literary journal in Liechtenstein, along with scouring the pages of European journals for Leichtensteinian authors. Every short story I read was crap. Thus, due to publisher obligation to come up with a 300-page book, I have instead filled these pages with my own short stories, which are also crap, but I don't have to pay royalties on them."
2) Synopsis: "Fifteen years ago, even the most ardent Western cinemaphiles had almost certainly never seen an Iranian film. Thanks to the raves of film critic Godfrey Cheshire and others, the films of Abbas Kiarostami and other Iranian filmmakers are ubiquitous in arthouses today. In my travels across Europe, I found a similarly undiscovered subculture: the short stories of Liechtenstein writers. Mainly studying under famed novelist Pieter Fitzpatrick at the University of Southern Liechtenstein, these authors create simplistic, post-modern works -- like those of Kiarostami -- that are both entrenched in their culture and oblivious to it.” (I have no idea what that last clause means.)
Those who are on the Never Underestimate a Polar Bear With a 1911 Colt list will receive these short stories instead. Those who aren't, uh, why not?
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, absent.
My next opportunity to be world-famous: I have written the best screw-in-a-light-bulb joke ever.
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Lenten sadness: It seems more and more certain that this sans-TV thing is a go. I would appreciate it if all my secret admirers out there would send me reading material for Valentine's Day.
Tentatively, per week we're allowed three hours of TV, one video, and (for me) two games of Madden 2000. I am uncertain what we will do with all this newly discovered free time. Perhaps we will find a vaccine for the common cold or for hatred.
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Catholictivity: After a conversation about Catholicism at a church function on Sunday, I now strongly suspect that fewer than ten percent of American Catholics actively believe in transubstantiation; most, I would guess, believe in something akin to Missouri Synod Lutherans' consubstantiation. In fact, I suspect most U.S. Catholics are closer in dogma to the average mainstream-to-liberal Christian church (like Lutheran ELCA) than the beliefs stated in the Catholic Catechism: I'd guess more than half of Catholics are for female and married priests, I'm sure more than half have no problem with typical birth control measures (other than abortion), and I think there are few, if any, ELCA beliefs that they'd find distasteful. (Liberal Christian churches have the advantage of a shorter list of necessary beliefs.)
Why do they continue as Catholics, then? A few reasons:
a) Most Christians, including Catholics, don't care about the specifics of their dogma other than the Biblical basics.
b) Most Christians, including Catholics, attend the church of their parents without considering other alternatives; given (a), there's no impetus for change.
c) They like their individual church.
d) They like the methodical manner of the Catholic Church: the pattern of the Rosary, the never-changing order of mass, the consistent melody of the mass parts, the chance to sneak out after communion.
e) They want their children to attend a church, and they don’t much care which one.
I happen to believe (d) is especially important to many people, so a thought: why isn’t there a Catholic knockoff church that retains the ornamental aspects of Catholicism but puts forth a different belief system – perhaps a general “No creed but Christ” doctrine?
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
these are comments, absent.
Non-Catholic note: Au revoir, Dvorak.
Catholic note: I like the Catholic idea of giving up something important for Lent. On my dorm floor one year, where the ratio of atheists/agnostics to practicing Catholics was approximately 3:1, most of us tried to give something up for Lent. I failed miserably in my endeavor to give up unhealthy foods, but it was an interesting experience.
In that spirit, Kim and I are giving up television for Lent.
Yes, really.
Well, kinda really. The details are still being worked out, but the current plan is to allow each of us to watch about three hours/week, which will be taken up mostly by a) "The West Wing," b) "Friends," c) "Ally" (for her), and d) "King of the Hill" and "The Weekenders" (for me; I'm going to write a full-length love letter to "The Weekenders" on this blog someday). Nintendo and videos/DVDs may also be limited, though we haven't worked that out yet. Perhaps this will be an impetus for me to read the 1088-page Infinite Jest I've had around for months.
Related Non-Catholic note: Kim will be out tonight. I was going to go and rent some stupid comedy that I've almost wanted to see but not really (either Pootie Tang or Freddy Gets Fingered), but instead I will eschew film for a higher calling: I will write a short story. I consistently mean to take a couple hours and write one, but I don't. Today, I will.
You, dear reader (note the use of the singular), can help to shape this story. This story, set in modern-day North Dakota, has four protagonists. The first is a talking mule named Josephine who can see into the immediate near-future; that is, she knows what will happen five seconds from now, but her forward-looking vision goes no further. The second is Billy, a six-year-old who uses poop jokes to dispense important wisdom. You, dear reader, by sending your characters to me by 5:00 Eastern/4:00 Central, can see them immortalized in my story.
Non-Catholic note: I am writing this post using the Dvorak keyboard, the "metric" equivalent to the standard QWERTY typewriter. I am already quite discouraged: the only word I can spell without looking is "the." Expect this post to be terse.
Back to Catholicism: other than communion and the sign of the cross, I have no issue with following the other traditions within mass. Except one. Right before communion, the congregants say, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed." I agree with that statement, but I'm not sure I should say it along with them; it sounds like I'm asking to be healed directly before I take communion, which I'm not.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
