Part one: Math that does not use anything fancy because that would just be too difficult for Jo[h]n.
1) Using the numbers 1 through 9 in order, and only using parentheses, multiplication, division, subtraction and/or addition, come up with an equation that equals 3070, e.g. 1-2+(3+45)-6*7+89 except of course that does not give you the correct answer.
2) Using six ones in order (heh), and only using parentheses, multiplication, division, subtraction and/or addition, come up with an equation that equals three ones in order.
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Part two: Math that is fancy but sorta fakey.
3) It sorta holds true that a mod b = c mod d (or at least *can* equal) given what requirement? (Note: "a=c and b=d" is true but not the correct answer.)
4) What is the integration of xy dz?
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Part three: Lame irony and symbolism in books I did not like when I read them in high school and would probably still not like now but who knows.
5) What is ironic about the opening sentence of Willa Cather's short story, "Neighbour Rosicky": "Neighbour Rosicky had a bad heart"?
6) What is symbolic about the bird with the broken wing in the dénouement of Kate Chopin's The Awakening?
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Part four: The origins of the universe or Nora's Mexican Restaurant in Hampton.
7-8) Write an essay summarizing the different scientific theories regarding life on other planets discussed in Gregg Easterbrook's 10,000-word Atlantic Monthlyarticle from August 1988's entitled "Are We Alone?" Or write an essay about Nora's. Best of each gets a half-point.
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Part five: Matthew Dale Prins or Matt Prins or Thew!! or you know that narcissistic lame-o.
9) What is Matthew's favorite non-disc sport?
10) When is the last non-holiday, non-weekend when Matthew did not write something in this journal?
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Part six: Discussion of post-revolution Iranian films that is not at all related to Mohsen Makhmalbaf.
11) Which of Jafar Panahi's films is considered by right-minded film critics to be his most didactic?
12) In Dariush Mehrjui's Leila, a character tries to convince Leila to allow her husband to take a second wife. What familal relationship did that character have to Leila?
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Part seven: Snot.
13) If you were to pick your nose at a rate of 1/8 teaspoon of snot per minute, and assuming you slept 8 hours a night and picked the other 16, how long would it take you to have a gallon of snot?
14) Add a letter to the beginning of the word "snot," rearrange the letters, and you will have the name of an object that is closely related to snot. What is that word and letter?
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Part eight: Charles Nelson Reilly 15-16) Write a haiku and a limerick about Mr. Reilly. Best of each gets the goldfish.
Part nine: Discussion of post-revolution Iranian films that is at all related to Mohsen Makhmalbaf.
17) In Abbas Kiarostami's Close-Up, a character is shown to be reading a book that is based off of an earlier Makhmalbaf film. What is the title of the book and film?
18) In Makhmalbaf's A Moment of Innocence, what symbolism does the final freeze-frame of a loaf a bread and a vase have?
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Part ten: Meta-ality.
19) Not counting this question, who got the first correct answer in this week's quiz?
20) Not counting this question, who will get the most points in this week's quiz?
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
