I will tell you a few secrets now, if that is not bothersome.
Because the comments have yet been corrected in a manner that would fix the problem -- "The Internet sucks, Craig," would be Beth-Annie's apposite colloquialism1 -- I do believe that now would be a good time to tell people ten secrets2 about myself, secrets that no one else knows except for probably half the people reading my journal. But the important thing is, the other half doesn't, and now is the time to cry my tears publicly.
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Once, when I was about 10, I had to take a tablespoon of orange3Triaminic, and it tasted really good, so while Mom and Dad weren't looking, I took another tablespoon, and I thought that I was going to get really sick.
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I have not shaved in five days. (It's a secret if you haven't seen me in five days, right?)
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I have a mole on my right thigh that is about as big as a nickel.
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The only recurring dream I can recall from elementary school is that there was this guy who parked in front of our house and then he started chasing me around the house. That's all I remember, basically.
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In high school in Ames, I had three different girls who told me (either in person [one] or by proxy [two]) that they had a major crush on me (either during the fact [one] or after the fact [two]), only one of whom I ever went out with.
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I was once with my crush-at-the-time doing a school project, and she went to the bathroom, and she, uh, I don't know how to explain this, but she let off this series of farts that, wow, these were something, and I sorta kinda temporarily lost interest with her because of it4.
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So Southeast didn't have an e-mail directory, so I was starting this volunteer e-mail directory at school, sending random e-mails to addresses in the form [letter][letter][number][number]stu@semovm.semo.edu to get them to sign up, but then I got an e-mail from someone at the administration saying that they had just started an official e-mail directory, so I was disappointed, but then I looked up Kim's e-mail address in the directory and, ahem, "randomly" sent her one of the e-mails I was sending out to get people to sign up for the directory.
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I will go to my grave swearing that I did not intentionally spill the milk out of my cereal bowl at the Flemings' house. I did not.
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I went two full years drinking soda only (I think) three times.
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I do not know what I want to be when I grow up.
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1 I am using big words today because I am insecure about my writing ability. Maybe. I dunno.
2 Perhaps the phrase "unfamiliar detail" would be more correct; as secrets go, these are awfully noddy5.
3 As I do not have to tell Josh, yellow Triaminic is the most vile liquid on earth; it (seriously) tastes like fluid ear wax.
4 See, I am glad that the comments are not working so I will not hear the responses about how utterly unfair this not-liking-someone-as-much-because-gosh-how-horrible-it-is-that-they-farted is.6
5 Doesn't "noddy" work better as an adjective than a noun? I'm going to start using "noddy" as my all-purpose "stupid" replacement, even if it isn't grammatically correct.
6 Oh, not that I'm going to tell you who it is, but I will say that it wasn't Kim. I think Kim would appreciate that.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
