Too much serious thinking dulls the brain. I have a half-finished column regarding some comments I received about that gay priest post, but I do not feel like finishing it right now. (I aim for Tuesday.) Instead, I will continue with more pressing matters, such as:
The Hierarchy of Drinkable Liquids! I have given this much thought -- not really, although I have given it more thought than it deserves -- and I have decided that I while I cannot rank my top ten drinkable liquids, I will sort them into This List Has My Five Favorite Drinkable Liquids and This List Has My Five Favorite Drinkable Liquids As Long As You Forget About That Other List. In coming up with these lists, I have set two ground rules:
1) The liquid must be sufficiently liquidy. Shakes and malts are not allowed.
2) The liquid must be publically available or the ingredients to make the liquid must be publically available. I do not know why I added this rule, as it makes no difference in my lists, but it makes it look like I have a secret cache of specialized drinkable liquids that only I can drink, and that helps me feel both important and cool.
So.
This List Has My Five Favorite Drinkable Liquids
A&W Root Beer from the tap at an A&W. Anyone who does not have this on their list cannot be a friend of mine.
Minute Maid No Pulp Orange Juice, either with or without those special vitamins they sometimes add, in a 96-oz. orange plastic container. This is my staple drink. I have it with pizza, hamburgers, ice cream, pasta, mints. Everything.
Kiwi Strawberry Snapple, in a 16-oz. glass bottle. This would probably be my staple drink if it were not so expensive.
Strawberry Italian Soda made with 10 oz. seltzer water and 2 oz. Gloria Jean's strawberry syrup. I have never had an Italian soda made elsewhere better than the ones I can make at home. That is why I have given you my secret recipe.
Lemon-Lime All-Sport with carbonation in a 32 oz. plastic bottle. It's still kinda publically available if you (a) look hard enough and (b) don't mind that it's gone past its expiration date. Will switch lists with Orange Julius after I come to grips with that fact that only the non-carbonated beverage is really, truly available.
This List Has My Five Favorite Drinkable Liquids As Long As You Forget About That Other List
Orange Julius from an Orange Julius stand.
Dr. Pepper from a two-liter bottle.
Vanilla Coke made from a fountain Coke and vanilla syrup -- not that ho-hum crap Atlanta corporate is trying to pass off as "Vanilla Coke" to uneducated consumers.
IBC Cream Soda from a 12-oz. bottle.
Minute Maid Grape Juice made from those frozen 12-oz. cans.
If you know my drinking habits well enough to believe I have forgotten something, please let me know. This is oh so very much tremendously important.
---
Well, duh, Matthew. Of course that was going to happen. First two rounds at my home disc golf course post-tournament: minus four and minus three. My best score at that course before those two rounds: minus two. Yes, yes, I was destined to play my best golf after the tourney. How did I not suspect that this would happen?
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
