I never should have supported her. Beth-Annie is already attempting to one-up me in her Weblog, eschewing the emotional distance spawned by the cleverness and obnoxiousness of my journal and instead writing about a major personality trait of hers, one that will be regarded by some as a negative. (I do not view it negatively.) Lovely. Gee, thanks, Beth-Annie, as we all know that the only reason you made that obsession confession is to make my journal look pedestrian and unemotional in comparison! C'mon! Admit it!
You see, now I feel I must make personal confessions to keep up with my sister-in-law. This is not good. Given how poor I am with the private admission schema, soon Prinsiana will stop being "The Simpsons" and start a new life as "Full House," with a lesson to be learned every day:
Monday: Be open with your emotions. Do not hide them from your friends.
Tuesday: Eating ice cream twice every day is not a good way to become svelte.
Wednesday: That "living every day to its fullest" thing? I tried that for a week, and I was overwhelmed by the end of the week. Carpe diem is crape.
Thursday: If you kill someone with a gun, be sure to wipe off the entire handle, including the little piece at the bottom.
Friday: Eating snot twice every day is not a good way to become svelte.
Oh well. I suppose to compete, we must get into some self-flagellation. Let us go with "[S]he's quite cute with those smart-girl specs," which, if you will recall, is from one of the "personal, private" messages from Saturday's post. Now, let us take that specificity and make it a general, true statement: I generally find females who wear glasses more attractive than females who do not wear glasses. (For the strange record, I have never had a girlfriend who wore glasses regularly and quite honestly, I can only think of one girl I've gone on a date with who wore glasses regularly; however, since I was generally the askee and not the asker on these dates, I'm not sure that any conclusion can be drawn.) Anyway, because you have likely forgotten after that long parenthetical, I do frequently find women who wear glasses prettier than those sans.
Why would this be? It is for the same reason that I generally find women with dark hair more attractive than women with blond hair (and much much more than women with dark hair who dye their hair blond): it is because I am stupid. More specifically, it is because I am stupid and make brash judgements on a woman's intelligence based on how she looks. I am smart. I want a smart woman. Dark hair plus pale skin plus glasses equals smart! Blonde hair plus tanned skin plus no glasses equals stupid! Perceived intelligence can be just as alluring as actual intelligence -- who knows if I'd ever have gone out with Kim if she looked like, say, Anna Nicole Smith.
That's right. I am as bad as the high school quarterback who is drawn to the cheerleader at the top of the pyramid.
Gosh. That was so much fun. Remind me to do that again in a never.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
